Why I Don’t Want to Go Back to ‘Normal’ — The Silver Lining of Quarantine
Maybe its the introvert in me, but I was joking with another solitary minded friend of mine via text on Easter Sunday, admitting that there was a part of this great pause that I enjoy. Of course it’s not the virus itself, the loss of life, and the staggering blow to the economy that we have all experienced in some way, but it’s taken me the better part of 40 years to learn what to do with things are out of my control (ok, maybe that’s a continual work in progress, but I’m way better than I used to be). Quarantine life has raised my level of gratitude for the simple things and the front line workers who protect lives and keep our bare bones economy moving forward. The optimist in me always looks for silver linings, and I don’t want to forget what I’ve learned through these moments in history, even when the days end up feeling a little long. Every situation in this life has the element of perspective, I work everyday to make mine an optimistic one. Optimism is the backbone of resilience and we have the opportunity to experience immeasurable growth from times of struggle if we have the ability to reflect and learn from our experience. Right now, we find that time, for once, is on our side and there are some experiences I know I will treasure that have arisen from these once unimaginable days that more slowly than they used to.
I don’t want to be distracted anymore — If we can manage to free ourselves from our second brain, better known as our cell phone, the flow we have access to these days is phenomenal. I always joke that my to-do list hasn’t been finished since I was a 20 year old college student renting one room. As the years wear on though, work, appointments, workouts, social gatherings, and kids activities create memories, but regular life also gives us an excuse to escape from our own feelings and intuition. Right now we have been given more time to explore and feel. Even when it’s rough, don’t shy away from it, learn to sit with it in all its imperfection and uncertainty. When we learn to come through these moments, we discover deeper layers of our own resilience and understand ourselves, and our purpose in the world, better. I’ve experienced some of the deepest flow cycles while writing during this time and I am grateful for the time to train my brain to find calm more effectively.
Dinnertime — There was a time when I believed that the kitchen table was my best shot to have influence on the world. I took pride in having kids who liked to sit and talk over dinner and was convinced that the conversations we had, and the things they learned there, would carry far past my front door. As they grew though, the evening routines picked up and practices, games, and study dates became the norm instead of dinner around the table. With the schedule right now, the magic of the dinner table is back and the conversation beats any Netflix series I can think of. We laugh, talk, sometimes even fight, but as any mom with almost adult age kids knows, these are moments that won’t repeat and I’m sinking in to every last one of them.
There is no finish line — As fast as our typical lives slipped away from us a month ago, its no wonder that we are looking for certainty that we have yet been unable to find. We want to know when, how long do we have to stay this way, when will the toilet paper shortages and long lines end and life, and the economy get back to normal? But, if we allow ourselves to sink in, breathe, move, and find the calm that is there when we relinquish what we cannot control, we gain a very important skill to carry with us when the pace of life intensifies again. In all honesty, my anxiety lies around the question of how will I continue to move at this mindful pace when life kicks back up to full gear. The thought that balances me is there is no finish line, all we have to do is give each moment our best (and that best can vary from day to day) and the rest will take care of itself. Everything we need to face whatever is to come is already within us.
Although I have my occasional moments of restlessness and know that I will never take a sunset on the beach for granted after these days at home, I feel a simple and peaceful gratitude for the blessings of a roof over my head and money to buy groceries. My hope is that we emerge with a new normal…not one that makes us feel like we have to make up for everything we have missed, but one that has enlightened us on what we were missing while we were busy saying yes to everything. I want to see seniors capture graduations and athletes get back to training and competing, but there are things I will not return to when real life emerges again like rushing and feeling like I have to answer a text message within five seconds. Will we have the presence of mind to move deliberately when the pace of life kicks up again? This is undoubtably a moment in time that will capture pages in the history books. Amidst the struggle, let’s give the next generation, and ourselves, a great story about the power of the human spirit and what was discovered when we were given time to take a collective pause.
